Well after I wrote out all of my reasons why we wanted to transfer both of our remaining embryos I found out today that Dr. D only wants to transfer one. He said that he doesn't think I qualify for transfering 2 since the first transfer was "succesful" in that I did get pregnant. He gave his reasons for wanting to transfer 1 and I gave my reasons for wanting to transfer 2.
He is fairly confident that I will get pregnant again with a single embryo transfer and doesn't want to expose me or my potential babies to the increase risk of twins. I understand these risks and understand that a singleton pregnancy is perferred. I am scared of the potential adverse outcomes of twins; no one wants to increase their potential children's risks of cerebral palsy, necrotizing enterocolitis, and periventricular leukomalacia, or have a NICU stay and the potential of taking home only 1 or neither baby, or 2 sick babies. K changed his mind about transferring 2 when Dr. D mentioned the risks to me with twins. K doesn't want anything bad to happen to me. He would rather take the potentially longer but safer route. I understand what he is saying, but at the same time I worry about the damage that happens to me the longer I go in this journey. Yes, I am not physically injured, but this process has taken a huge emotional tole on me. I feel like I am living a life of waiting. I can't enjoy the present. Likely this has made me more willing to take risks in the hope of achieving a baby quicker. Dr. D says he thinks I am too caught up in the process to look at things objectively. He thinks I want to adress this too agressively, which may cause unecessary harm. I understand what he is saying, and I agreed to only transfer 1, but I am still not happy about it. I can't predict the future. I know that if I did get pregnant with twins and something went wrong I would feel horrible about it.
We did also discuss my reasons for wanting to transfer 2, and I did get fairly upset because our priorities aren't the same. Dr. D thinks the chances of transfering 2 and ending up with twins is greater than the chances of transferring 1 and have another nonviable pregnancy (however, he isn't the one who has to go through the potential loss, and he did say that there is a possibility that 1 or both of our remaining embryos could be chromosomally abnormal). He agreed that they do not like having only a single blast left for a future transfer because thaw rate is not 100%, but he says if that happens the worst thing that happens is that the cycle is cancelled (which would be a big deal to me!) and I would be set back 3 months (but that is a long time when you have been waiting so long and want a baby so badly!).
I did agree to only transfering 1 by the end of the appointment, although I did so begrudgingly. He did say if I still realy wanted to transfer 2 he could bring it up at the next patient plan meeting, where all the REs discuss the how to treat a patient, but I declined. I could still change my mind if I want to, but I believe the other REs would agree with his plan to only transfer 1.
The timeline for the FET is a bit longer than I would have liked. Since I never had regular periods in the past, I likely will need provera to induce my next period, after which I would start estrace for the FET. However, Dr. D wants me to wait to start my 10 days course of provera till June 23, which would mean I wouldn't get my period till July 5th or so. Then I would need to take at least 19 days of estrace, so tentative transfer July 23. I am a bit worried because the last day of embryos transfers for this entire up-time is July 26, so if we had any set backs (i.e. period takes longer than the usual 3 days after provera to start, or my lining doesn't thicken and I need extra days of estrace) then the whole FET may be cancelled until August. I wish that they would let me start the provera at least a few days earlier. My miscarriage started May 10th, so June 20 will be 5 weeks from then, and July 5th would be 8 weeks after the miscairrage. The only hope I have of starting earlier is that they said if I got my period on my own in June, we could discuss beginning the FET at that time. I hope that my body recovers and even though I don't normally ovulate or cycle, maybe the pregnancy will have reset my hormones and I may cycle on my own.