Monday, August 12, 2013

I've been outed!

Today at least 10 individuals learned of my pregnancy. Here is how it happened: today was the first day of my otho rotation. I've been worried about ortho because I thought the lima bean might lead me to a. pass out in the OR or b. run out vomiting. But alas, neither of these scenarios happened. I joined my team in the OR partway into a case after orientation, so I hadn't met anyone yet or even had the chance to consider discussing my pregnancy in private. I did scope out the OR for any sources of radiation, and everything seemed safe. We were doing a total knee replacement and were getting ready to put in the replacement joint when one of the residents ask, "You aren't pregnant, are you?" Oh... why yes in fact I am. So I turned bright red (I'm sure) and stuttered out "Actually I am." It turns out the cement they use to fix the joints isn't safe for pregnant individuals, so I was kicked out of the OR and set to clinic, where the remaining resident asked me what happened so I had to inform him (and the 2 nurses and 1 other medical student who were also in the room) that I was pregnant. I was able to rejoin the team for the remaining 2 surgeries of the day, and I feel safer in the OR now that everyone knows I'm pregnant so they will let me know if I ever need to leave, but it's not the way I was planning on sharing my exciting news with the first 10 people outside of the few select individuals who already know. The whole thing does make me worried about our scan this Thursday, because if something is wrong I will either have to tell them or continue to let them think I'm pregnant for the next week. But I will try not to worry myself with that! I'm thinking healthy baby, good heartbeat, appropirate growth thoughts.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

2nd ultrasound: 6 weeks 6 days

I slacked on my blogging last week - sorry to keep you waiting. The second ultrasound went well. The baby measured on track and had a heart rate of 137. After the ultrasound I was told that I had graduated from the IVF clinic and should set up an OB appointment. What?! I'm all for being positive, but I can't believe that I'm ready to join the land of appointments only every 4+ weeks.
I think there must be a whole lot of fertile people in my city because the earliest I could get a new OB appointment is at 12 weeks 3 days (Sept 9th). This was after I had explained how we did IVF and I was very nervous and wanted to be seen sooner rather than later and the nurse told me they usually see patients between 7-11 weeks. So I am pretty bummed about waiting so long.
I am still incredibly nervous. I received an email from my resolve group asking when I would be 12 weeks (which is generally when you "graduate" until the pregnancy is completed) and it totally caught me off guard. Me, make it to 12 weeks? I still am taking this pregnancy on a day-to-day basis. I look forward to the future, but I'm always hesitant, waiting for the next scan.
In my head 8 weeks is the magical number where I will feel more comfortable (although I'm sure I'll always be scared until I have a baby in my arms). My sister-in-law who had so many miscarriages said that 8 weeks was the latest she had a miscarriage, but she also had a missed miscarriage where the baby died at 8 weeks and didn't know till her 12 weeks scan. I am 7 weeks 5 days today. I'll be 8 weeks on Friday. I feel like I will need an ultrasound after I make it to 8 weeks in order to become more comfortable. I am just so scared of missing something, like in my last pregnancy when I thought everything was ok and it wasn't, or in my sister-in-laws pregnancy where the baby had died but she didn't know.
I got really anxious yesterday thinking about how we had to go 4.5 more weeks until our next ultrasound and had a bit of a panic attack. I called the clinic today and after a lot of explaining and insistence, the IVF clinic agreed that I could come in next Thursday (8/15) for another scan at 8 weeks 6 days.  I feel a lot more comfortable with this schedule. This way we will have 2 weeks between our 6w6d scan and 8w6d scan then just 3.5 weeks till the 12w3d scan.
I know I will have to get more comfortable with less visits / ultrasounds, and I am sure I will to a degree. It will be a lot easier once I make it to the point where I can feel the baby moving or have a visibly growing belly. But at this early stage of pregnancy I don't have any signs as to the status of our little baby and I worry about him/her.